1-800-MISSING

Ms. Kelly's absence from HSAO has left many of us students uncomfortable. Personally, I don't know what to say. Too many thoughts come clambered to form words with. It's all unfinished ties.

I don't want to sound redundant...but in some ways whatever happens happens when you don't follow the proper guidelines. If you agree to funding, understand all that comes with that includes the funder's influence in our classwork.

But this isn't why I write here. Ms. Kelly's absence may have an influence on this entry, but it has nothing to do with her disappearance.

I was going to explain my last entry. And I never do this, so pay attention.

"Once upon a time" Now, because it does not necessarily have to be in the past, let's set the dail to future.

"A story in a story, IF you understand my TIME" Self-explanatory (Or should I just say...explanatory)

*Edit: I realize 'tis still unclear, a story in a story if you understand my time (which is set in the future, right?)

"A young girl was a'talkin to her stallion,
Speaking gentle coaxing cooes of whispered
Fairytales and seldom did she speak of this one."

So, she's telling one story, that I remember...

"Frost covered the windows,
The kind you could draw using fingertips.
If your hand was calm, your aim dead-shot
You could paint a whole world if not more."

Remember this stanza!!! It has absolutely no significance now but remember it well for later usage.

"Jasmine, perched atop her roof,
Was a sharin words of wisdom,
Words of distant truths
With her companion for the night."

So now she tells another story...catch the change now:

"'I was but a child when
In love I first fell.
For fairytales existed not
The time before then.'"

So, the time before the character falls in love had no fairytales, correct?

"However, leave he had to
Eventually.
Promising to return quickly.
right
If I was good, did as was told
Never spoke and never stole,
Never lied and never said no,
Improvising all along."

In improvisation, it's a common rule to never say no. It makes for a smoother plot and over-all positive mood.

"He heeded me remember these,
And always rest assured,
If I kept on, with dead-shot aim
All yearnings would be cured."

Now you remember the noted stanza? If not, it's okay...go back and review BEFORE you go on...got to move backward to go forth...oh strike that, reverse it!

"Until the time we meet again,
Until the time we speak again,
Until the time we see again,
We'll blind our eyes and numb our lips
Drawing pictures in the windows with our fingertips."

Now, here's the big one! Drawing pictures in the windows with our fingertips...what can you do with those pictures, kids? (This is CAKE!!!)

"And so have I,
So will I,
Until I've rubbed my finger raw,
Until there's no more room to draw."

CatCh iT!

"So preseverance is the word,
But what is the answer?
I guess you shall write your own,
The End."

I remembered...



Did you quite get the end?


did you remember?




Good. I thought so.

Preseverance

For this entry, I thought how about a story?
you like stories, don't you baby?
Once upon a time, (and this is a story in a story, if you understand my time)
A young girl was a'talkin to her stallion.
Speaking gentle coaxing cooes of whispered
Fairytales and seldom did she speak of this one.

But I remember...

"Frost covered the windows,
The kind you could draw using fingertips.
If your hand was calm, your aim dead-shot
You could paint a whole world if not more.

Jasmine, perched atop her roof,
Was a sharin words of wisdom,
Words of distant truths
With her companion for the night.

'I was but a child when
In love I first fell.
For fairytales existed not
The time before then.

However, leave he had to
Eventually.
Promising to return quickly.

If I was good, did as was told
Never spoke and never stole,
Never lied and never said no,
Improvising all along.

He heeded me remember these,
And always rest assured,
If I kept on, with dead-shot aim
All yearnings would be cured.

Until the time we meet again,
Until the time we speak again,
Until the time we see again,
We'll blind our eyes and numb our lips
Drawing pictures in the windows with our fingertips.

And so have I,
So will I,
Until I've rubbed my finger raw,
Until there's no more room to draw.'

So preseverance is the word,
But what is the answer?
I guess you shall write your own,
The End."

I remembered...
do you?

"if we only want, and reluctantly give well...I'm sure we'd want to give to ourselves much more."-KT Assignment 4

Yes, I quoted myself. I was very proud on that statement when I said it. Now, I don't really remember what I meant.

No matter, KT's had an eventfull week. Our last assignment dealt with altruists (yeah, I learned a new word!)

An altruist is a person opposing the egoist. I have both, an altruist and an egoist in my system such as all. That can sometimes make for the confusion in my frontal lobe. (Has it exploded yet? I don't know....)

Generally speaking, we all want things aside from the basic survival needs. Well, WE ALL is a very broad perspective, personally I don't want anything, and as for the survival needs heck I could give those up in a heartbeat if my most important need was met. But you'll never come, so nevermind.
As an isolated member of the schizophrenic ward I highly doubt in wants. Want something? Work for it, deserve it. It falls in line with classical conditioning. Though the true definition of that is learning to make a reflex response to a stimulus other than the original or natural stimuli.
Comes in handy for actors too.

I had to condition myself in a way that I no longer detested the world we live in. How did I do that? Oh simply by....like I'd give that away. hush, you too

So does this entry have a point, a real purpose? No...I've had to focus on puproses for so long now that I just decided to ramble. You may ignore. In fact I hope you do...

Muffins!

And the winner is....

Respecting others only as much as you respect yourself.

That is the answer to the previous question, and brings us to today's theory.

I have recently gotten into a very deep division of opinion on this, a more perplexed and certainly more paradoxical point of view.

Cummunication as you know by now, has basically been banned from my surroundings upon my own direction and with my supervision.

If there is a need to talk to someone, it feels as if I am not, basically.

So the question this assignment brought up communication in a relationship. Oh, i see you burning red now....
We viewed Bree's recent past...we commented, collected on it. We came to a conclusion.

I came to a confusion. and all cause you're not here...
I said what I thought as right, being honest and all that stuff people say, right?

Then I thought about it. In my own state, I could never be honest. I doubt anyone can be honest, really but that ties in with technology, and that's another chapter.

Fact is, and fact states: Most people now are not actually in real love with their partner. oh that's a shame...

Bree, though childish, has a working mind and will soon come to realize she doesn't feel for Daniel as she thought. But that's for another time children.

I got pretty drunk yesterday night....don't know where that came from....it was only beer. and two tiny drops of thoughts of you knocked me down....

So that brings me to the second part of this whole thing...hihihi.
Respecting others as much as yourself while drunk will make for a much better environment.
The time that backfires is the time you KNOW you need to go home.

Remember this:
it was the sister of that actor....uhh..the father...
Show me the way to go home
I'm tired and I want to go to bed
I had a couple drinks an hour ago
And they went straight to my head...

Mental Dignity?

I once had a shrink who asked if I knew what dignity was. Of course I knew what dignity was! Even more so did I know, once I looked it up to find...I had no dinky clue what dignity was.

As with our current assignment. It seems to focus on human kindness through-out the period of time. How it's changed, developed...I say screw kindness. I gave the best answer I could, but the best answer happened to be the worst. I don't know about kindness or the effects, plus, why should it matter to me? if you're not here why should anything matter?
Well anyhow, all this talk of kindness and helping people out got me to think...I have no one to help out. My puppy could care less if I was saying "please" and "thank you", heck he wouldn't care if I called him a snot nosed drooling tarantula wannabe.
So why should that matter to me?
Because I made a stupid promise long ago and I always keep my promises. wish you would....
Now there's an act of dignity, if not a little odd. So the point I'm getting to is this: If having mental dignity is having respect for yourself, then isolated kindness would be....?

Think about it.

It's not that hard....

Back To Reality

School starts back up again soon!! I'm so excited! KT's been out of her mind out of touch with the few things that give her life meaning. tell me i'm doing the right thing
Anyhow, I look forward to meeting with my peers once more to discuss the ever darkening topics at HSA. Good and evil were our last, remember? Oh KT, you know so much on the subject.
What about Miss Bree? I believe, this is the first time I have mentioned her name in my blog. can you forgive me?
Oh yes...a rebellious little girl...runs from home to escape a predicament, finds herself living with two boys (one of which, she doesn't even know) betrays their trust, (for some reason they still trust her) and runs to them when it seems all other doors are closed. tsk tsk bree....i thought i knew you better.
What happened? She never used to care what people thought of her. She had become almost a crutch, a someone who could relate and understand without being actually obvious. Then she simply had to "come out". Why did you start posting v-logs?
I felt a bit betrayed, to say the least. Then I had to remind myself it's okay, not everyone can hang on like you can, KT. if anything bree should inspire you to hold tighter
Well it finally settled in my tummy like a nest of wild butterflies. I realized not only the importance of what we do, but the significance of how we do it. good? or evil?

If we take a fair example...oh say, keeping yourself grounded to your own fundamentals and sticking close to your family, we can see that there are infinitely many ways to do so without seeming....suspicious. it's called acting, dear.
And if you are to post videos revealing your home, your friends, your FAMILY, understand you are endangering them and should probably put on an act.

I have little to worry though...I have no family to endanger (at least none close to me) and my home is where my heart is. and my heart is with someone you will never know

The one person I have need to protect, incidentially, I also do not. They are wiser than Bree, and know how to keep their connections to themselves.

So it seems after a slight slip of brain activity that KT's back in working order, ready to tackle more mind boggling inquiries of the world that surrounds her box. and the treasure outside it
Who knows...perhaps she's still got a fighting chance?